Beyonce & rpd’s first naughty weekend away!

I’m slumped on the side of the road, well a petrol garage of all places except I don’t need fuel I need a new pair of knees…. today I managed to make 6k’s before it all went wrong! I’m utterly dejected right now the numbers to make the distance I was originally planning now seem make the GFC deficit look miniature!

I’m sitting by the Frankton end of the Lake Wakatipu I’m retrace the steps looking at the bike giving her the once over making sure she was going to look after me, I’m thinking I’ve neglected her but we’ve had a great week in QT so I saddle her up and I’m looking forward to us having some ‘us time’ over the next 80k.  Yes I was going the shorter route but it involved a 8k climb which kicked up to 1080mtrs it looked epic!  Everyone was joking about going up the Crown Range and I was playing a humble card but in fact I was actually going to tackle it and have my picture taken at the top while I waited for a cardio-arrest team to come and revive me, so it looks like this is another box I need to come back and tick.

I wanted Beyonce and I to have a week of fun in QT, you know the type of weekend when you first meet someone and take off and get up to no good!  It was also to give me some time to relax let the knees kick back.  I deliberated over what I should and shouldn’t do, out was riding any other bikes I would be faithful to her and also no long walks or treks into the mountains need to save the energy.

So the week was a blast, met some very funny & lovely people, of course the odd nut case and the locals, the place I stayed which needs a mention, the omphalos of 50 Beach Street or in easy google speak Absoloot Hostel.  By far the hostel to be in, the whole building is alive I recommend a conversation with the boys from Brazil and a long black from Patagonia; yes the chocolate is off the scale but it’s all about the coffee for me.  ‘Fort Fuckin Awesome’ gang made me laugh my ass off – a lot, not only am I wrapped up in a game called ‘beer for life’ but I have to try and remake the most amazing Canadian biscuits bars that the in-house baking queen just ‘whipped up one day!’

The big highlight was the trip to Milford Sound.  The place itself is lovely very dramatic but after 15mins on the boat I was board, the day was stunning not a drop of rain which is the wrong way to see Milford when it rains the 5/6 waterfalls turn into 1000’s of waterfalls and that’s what you go to see!  Well why did I go on a sunny day?  If your gonna do something do it right, that is what i was always told to do so I flew in a little 4 seater Cesena (the G5 was in having a service!) Propped up beside the pilot I was like a 5yo boy again discovering something new – all those buttons, switches and dials just waiting to be pushed – the urge to play 1’s & 2’s on the headset with traffic control was almost too much for me!!!
“Hay Rory, you see all those switches and stuff” the Captain said while closing my door, he must of seen the 5yo grin on my face!
“Yeesssssssssss”
“Do not under any circumstance touch those, its my job to fly the plane!”

Up up and away with a slight tail wind, it was incredible the views of the mountains, lakes, glacier’s and the sea was something else we were at an altitude of 5-7,000ft at this height you can see the scale of this place – my camera must have been set on continuous as I have reams of images. However that is the least of my worries my flying bug has come back in a big way! I’ve got a number of hours under my belt for my gliders licence back home but now I think i want to learn how to fly a plane too!

With all this time on my hands my hunt for the best bean was in full attack mode, numerous cups were consumed over those long lazy sunny days and I managed to find a clear winner, a small cafe called Vudu apparently there are two of them but I was stuck in the one which didn’t have the lake view but had another view which was better.

The food was off the scale when you walked in a glass cabinet welcomed your belly and eyes with all sorts of sweet and savoury goodies which you know will make your taste buds go nuts.  In the back you had a little kitchen knocking out breakfast and lunch dishes which could easily appear on a Fortnum & Mason menu, but you would be charged 3x the price there! So the place is fit for ‘the ladies who lunch’ but thankfully they don’t have that image just a laid back place where people know people and you end up in all sorts of conversations weather you sit inside or outside.  The coffee is All Press – say no more after witnessing the operation first hand in Melbourne, dam that fella is getting everywhere but you can see why…… its so bloody good!

My top 3 for Vudu cafe is; coffee comes in third! After that is the banana bread oh my god words cannot even get close to how good that stuff is, served with an Orange marmalade and mascarpone cheese, dusted down with a little icing sugar for a bit of sweetness to cut through, it took me over 40mins to consume it! To seal a line from a great movie Layer Cake “…food here is so good it will make your Bollox tingle!” Couldn’t have said it or put it in any other way……
Finally was the view, yes you didn’t have the lake in the back ground but instead you were welcomed by one of the most beautiful girls I have seen in a long long time…. I’ll be content to have grabbed a quick conversation here and there between customers calling in any more than that and I think Beyonce would be leaving QT without me!

So… with broken knees and a yearning for something Scottish I’m on a bus heading to Wanaka feeling pretty dejected and shite, just to add salt into my open wound the bus driver is a total arse – congrads BTW you get my crown of been hailed ‘Prize Prick in NZ’, not only is he making a complete fuss over a bike going into the boot but he makes me take it out and rearrange it with every stop we make when we collect more people.  Its a 22 seater bus, we had 7 people inc me on board do the math = plenty of space!  He continues to tell me how stunning the Crown Range road is and how amazing the views are when your coming into Wanaka and cycling would be a great way to see it.  My retorted is served with an impressive amount of sarcasm, a touch of anger and a smile, “oh really is it that nice, well thanks for letting me know – you really know how to cheer up an injured cyclist don’t you” with that I put my headphones on select random sit back and wallow in my own depression.